THE EPIC OF GILGAMESH
to the tune of "American Pie" by Don McLean
Long, long time ago, in a land between two streams
Lived a guy named Gilgamesh
In ancient Uruk he began
2/3 god and 1/3 man
Goddess mom and dad made of frail flesh
Was he fake or really born?
True, or just cuneiform?
His tale is rather gory
In mankind's oldest story.
So listen to the tale I tell
Of gods and monsters, death and hell
And how his friend, Enkidu, fell,
Once upon a time ....
- Mesopotamia means "Land between two rivers"
- Gilgamesh is a king from ancient Mesopotamia
- Uruk means "city on the river" or "between the rivers"
  • It's located where modern day Iraq is and is where the name Iraq comes from.
- Gilgamesh was part god and part man, but still mortal
- He may not have been a real person, just a story
- Cuneiform is the writing system in which the story was written
- It is the oldest written story known to man
Cry, cry, Gilgamesh you must die.
You will never live forever like the gods in the sky.
You can't cheat death no matter how you might try
So kiss the land of living goodbye.
Kiss the land of living goodbye.

The people cried out to the gods
'Cause Gilgamesh made 'em work to hard
The Anunaki heard their pleas
Far from Uruk of the walls
'Midst the woods and the waterfalls
Enkidu came about among the trees
A human beast when he was born
With hairy hide and head of horn
Wrestled bears and lions
And beat them barely tryin'
A priestess came and as she neared
She looked and thought that he was weird
She cut his horns and shaved his beard
And then they went to town (Chorus)

The two men met and muscles flexed
You can guess what happened next
They began an epic fight
Though they punched and bit and scratched
It seemed they evenly were matched
Although they struggled through the day and night
They both gave up, the battle ends
And they decide to be best friends
"Let's go become famous
Though monsters might just maim us."
Thinking it would make them great
They beat Humbuba at the gate
And made the wind god quite irate
Although they didn't care. (Chorus)

Ishtar asked them for a date
But their "No" turned love to hate
She sent the bull of heaven down.
The boys avoided his attack
Cracked his horns and broke his back
And made the goddess look just like a clown
To Enkidu, death she sent
Influenza, down he went
And as he lay their dying
Gilgamesh was crying
And as his best friend died he knew
That one day soon he must die, too
And how that knowledge made him blue,
"I must avoid this fate."